Get Even With Bernie Madoff

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Bernie Madoff & the Walk of Shame

It's quite an interesting process this blog - coming up with new ways that would deliver some reciprocity for Bernie Madoff's actions. Again - the more we think about it the more it is just maddening that he can wreck and ruin numerous charities, destroy people's lives and yet his punishment is a gentle incarceration. And sure, we recognize that many of the investors were greedy sods who weren't exactly concerned about the ethics of Bernie's operation - and sure, we don't exactly aspire to an orange jumpsuit - but there's just that feeling that, relatively speaking, he got away with it.

 

One of the things about being locked up is that it removes the perpetrator from society - which if you're Bernie Madoff - is exactly what you want. Financial fraud is all done remotely, you don't see the faces of those that you're stealing from - you don't have to stare the poor mug in the eye as you rob them - you press a button and hey presto - their money is gone. So - today's idea is this:

 

Let's take some of the money recovered from the sale of Mr. Madoff's assets - enough to pay for a car, gas, salary and accommodation for three guards / drivers - say around $400k a year - and let's have Mr. Madoff driven to meet all of the people he's swindled. Let's take him to the annual meeting of the charities he's ripped off, let's put him in front of the University students who will miss out on new facilities because of him, let's take him to the grave sites with family members - instead of keeping him locked up - let's take him out and get him in front of those who's life he irrevocably changed.

 

There's nothing inhumane about this - sure it costs a little - but if there are a couple of thousand investors who lost money - (and assuming no proportional distribution of recovered revenue) that's $200 each. Is $200 worth it? We think so - hell, we'd even write a check!

Bernie Madoff - a Child Molestor?

So - having won his first fight in prison, the criminal Madoff is busy out generating respect in his new environment and that just ticks me off.  No doubt his fellow cons believe he has access to the money and power he had outside and maybe he's picking up some criminal envy for screwing so many of the rich.

You know what I'd like to see?  I'd like to see some evidence appear that Madoff was into kiddie porn or child molestation - you know - it's not beyond the realms of possbility.  Apparently back in the 80's and 90's his offices were a veritable snowstorm of cocaine and with Madoff's sociopathic lack of ethical or moral boundaries, who'd put it past him to take his inner urges out on the weak and helpless?

Bernie the Diddler, Chester Madoff, Short Eyes Bernard - I suspect that with this new information Mr. Madoff's cushy life inside would change somewhat.

Of course we hope that he didn't really rape and molest children - that would mean that there are victims out there - and we would never wish that on anyone.  However - if he did - the least we could do is share the information with his new found friends - would give a wholenew meaning to "Weekend at Bernie's!"

Scaring Bernie Madoff

Having just got back from Halloween in New Orleans and seeing the mass of people dressed up in terrifying outfits - I couldn't but help think of that other scary figure: Mr. Bernard Madoff.  New Orleans is famous for many things: food, booze, mis-managed disaster recovery (thank you Brownie!) but it's also famous for cemetaries and ghosts.

Why not get a little "meta-physical" on Bernie and give him an opportunity to commune with the dead?  I'm sure that Rene-Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet  would love to have a little "chat" with him.  I suggest taking Mr. Madoff out into a cemetary and leaving him inside an ossarium for a night or two - on his own, no flashlight etc.  And just in case the ghosts are too disguted to haunt the little man, perhaps a pre-recorded tape of spooky audio should be provided just to scare him out of his wits.

Slap Bernie Madoff

One thing that most white collar criminals fear is physical pain - their crimes are committed from a distance and they rarely see the actual result of their actions on a person's life; the loss, the stress, the arguments, the changes in physical behavior and appearance.  Well - much as though I think it would be great to have a cheese grater taken to bits of Bernie Madoff's body - it is a little Medieval and I don't know if I could actually do it myself - but I could surely slap him.

A good slap to the face - one that stings, that actually hurts - that leaves a red mark for a couple of minutes but which eventually dissipates - I think every victim of Bernie's should have the opportunity to slap him - one slap for every dollar that he stole.  No more than 1 slap a minute and no breakling of the skin - when other prisoners are having visiting hours, the criminal madoff could have slapping hours.  Every day, until he dies...

Bernie Madoff in Another Robbery

It seems that a Wisconsin low life is not without a sense of irony - after running from his third bank robbery, witnesses informed police that he was wearing a Bernie Madoff Halloween mask.  You can read more about it here.

What I particularly like about this is that it reinforces in the public mind what a criminal Bernie Madoff really is.  Often time the white collar criminal is sent off to their cushy cell for a short period of time and then returns to the general acceptance and forgiveness of their peers.  Their incarceration allows them to drop out of the spotlight and for memories of their ill deeds to fade.

Bernie Madoff stole millions from charities, he caused people to kill themselves and all to just to further his hedonistic self indulgent lifestyle.  There should be a law that all burglars are required to wear Bernie Madoff masks when robbing banks - it'll serve as a public reminder that white collar or not, Bernie Madoff is one of the biggest criminal low lives we'll ever know of.

Bernie in Battle in Prison

Reports on the internet today on how Bernie Madoff got into his first prison scuffle and won by pushing over another seventy year old - apparently he has gained some credibility with his fellow criminals.

That's right his "fellow criminals."

Nothing's really changed for Bernie, he's still pushing people around and knocking them over - I do so hope that someone a little bigger than him puts him in his place.

Bernie Madoff - Halloween Horror

Madoff

Halloween is just round the corner and what better to scare the wits out of the Kid's parents - the Bernie Madoff rubber mask.  Imagine the horror - your child arrives at the door with a sack full of Candy and leaves bawling with a sack full of nothing - oh the joys of being a evil, spiteful, selfish little man!

You can get your mask from Rubie's Costume Company (apparently although I couldn't find it on their crappy flash website!)

Madoff Family Sued for Almost $200 Million

Here's a nice article from Injuryboard.com - seems that Mr. Madoff and family had been siphoning off hundreds of millions of dollars before it all went up in smoke - wow, Shocker!  I particularly like the idea of the family giving themselves titles like "Chief Compliance Officer" - really - compliance? 

You can read the full article here:

http://newyorkcity.injuryboard.com/miscellaneous/madoff-family-sued-for-almost-200-million.aspx

We look forward to them joining their Father / Brother / Husband in jail.